Whew. Who likes public speaking?? Anyone? Anyone?
As of yesterday morning, this woman was NOT raising her hand. I mean, actually, the day before that, this woman was crying tears of "I can't do it! I don't want to. You can't make me!" Yes, I brought out the emotional, scared "No one is going to like me" inner child. This child, when left alone, wants to hide, run away from uncomfortable things (like PUBLIC SPEAKING!) and have someone else do things for her. Well, as a small business owner, I have to be the adult that reigns this inner child in and helps her understand that things will be ok.
So what made my inner child rear her emotional head and spiral out like a 90's perm? I participate in a business networking group and was asked to do a 15 minute presentation. I had ample time to prepare but as a business owner who also has a family, it took priority two days before it was scheduled.
I did what every person who is fearful of public speaking does. I sat down and poured over writing and tweaking my script and did it for an entire afternoon. I practiced on my teenaged sons (thanks boys!) and then the crowning moment came when my husband came home and I practiced on him. He is used to presenting to people so he said "Well, that was good but it's scripted. Just have a conversation and be you. People like YOU. Just connect with people." Uh...queue the water works, self doubt, resurrect the fear as you would when you watch a familiar horror film, and let that inner child run WILD!!
I didn't hear "Hey, these are some tips to make your message EVEN better and MORE spectacular!" I heard "ya, do these things that you aren't comfortable with and be even more than what you feel you aren't." I was told "Your script is GREAT but reading from it won't be. Use it to pull out your talking points and then CONNECT with people like you always do individually." What I heard was "You wasted all of that time with a dumb script and now you have to wing it." Oops, my bad because the messages my husband was giving me were totally different than what my old, negative tapes were telling me.
So...what did I do to make it through this presentation that I was so spun up about? Well, I calmed myself down with some doTERRA essential oils. Then I went to our bedroom and practiced "winging it" by myself. I started speaking from my heart about what I am so passionate about and that's hypnotherapy. I practiced over and over for a couple of hours. I also created some positive affirmations and listened to them at bedtime. I also asked another Reiki Master if she would do a long distance session on me that night. The next morning I listened to my positive affirmation again (twice!), used additional essential oils, and practiced in the car on the way to my meeting.
I know, I know, you all are saying "hurry up and tell us what happened!" Well, I got up there and killed the presentation! I told them what got me into hypnotherapy (HypnoBirthing and am amazing healing hypnotherapy session of my own) and asked great questions (thanks for the help hubby!) because we adults like to engage right? We want to participate, be heard, and know our experiences are valid! I was animated and made little jokes here and there. And the best part? It wasn't scripted! I had practiced fleshing out my talking points but I spoke from the heart and not fully from my head. Practicing what I wanted to say and how I wanted to convey it, readied my brain for what my heart wanted to share. To be successful, I just had to get control over my inner child who was frightened that she doesn't know anything and that no one will like her. I had to bring my Adult Self in to the rescue with the tools that I know will work. I had to trust that when I speak from my heart, others will indeed listen.
I share this story with you to help you see that it's ok to be scared. It's ok to feel like you can't do something. It's ok to feel like maybe what you have to say won't be appreciated or heard. However, when you have the right tools to help you regain the control you feel you have lost, there is absolutely no stopping you if you are coming at the situation with your heart. Others truly will see and hear you and the best part? YOU will see YOU. YOU will hear YOU. YOU will see that you have the power to overcome what is holding you back and you will feel the glory of self pride.
Needs the tools to help you move forward? I work with folks locally as well as long distantly so book your free 15 minute consultation and let's come up with a plan to help you succeed!
Brandy Lance, CH.t
You can see the About page for more professional info about me.